Tips for Writing Your Own Vows
As an elopement photographer, one of my favorite things is being able to share in my couple’s personal vows. It’s such a special moment, especially when a couple has taken the time to write their own vows. Besides being a great way to slow down and reflect on the journey of your relationship, writing your own vows makes your ceremony feel even more personal and meaningful.
Reasons to Write Your Own Vows
In my opinion, personal, handwritten vows just have a more meaningful effect. Writing your own vows shows that you took the time to reflect on your relationship and put into words why you’ve decided to commit your life to this special person. It’s no small gesture, by any means! Here are some reasons I find personal vows so special:
Personalization: There's definitely an element of authenticity and personality when writing your own vows that showcases the uniqueness of your relationship. It makes a ceremony feel more special and intimate, especially when it's just the two of you!
Handwritten vows make a great gift! There are so many gorgeous vow books you can purchase to handwrite your vows and then gift them to each other after the ceremony! It's so special to have your partner’s thoughts about our love and commitment in their own handwriting.
Emotional connection: Writing your own vows can be a deeply emotional experience, and sharing them with your partner in front of your loved ones can be a powerful moment of connection.
Reflection: Writing your own vows allows for a moment to slow down and reflect on your relationship and your future together. And perhaps an unpopular opinion, but I love when couples write (or rewrite) their vows on their actual wedding day. I think it's a great opportunity to slow down and really soak in moments before your big day!
Tips for Writing Your Own Vows
Writing your own vows can be immensely intimidating—I get it! But remember, writing your own vows is a journey, and you can share the experience with your partner. Sit down over a nice dinner and discuss how you make each other feel, and be honest in your thoughts about the relationship and your future. This is a great exercise to help in writing your own vows. Here are some additional tips to get you started!
Start early with initial drafts. Writing your own wedding vows takes time and thought. Give yourself plenty of time to reflect on your relationship and what you want to say. I wrote down a few different drafts ahead of time, then transcribed them into my vow book the day of our wedding.
Decide if you want to share your vows with guests. While most people feel comfortable sharing their personal vows with their guests, others may want to keep that moment just between themselves and their partner. My husband and I shared one set of private vows, then wrote another set to share at our ceremony in front of guests. It’s totally up to you!
Be authentic. Don't try to be someone you're not in your vows. Speak from your heart and be genuine. Your vows can be serious, funny, or both! Your vows should be meaningful, but not too long.
Consider if you want your vow writing captured. Personally, I love when couples handwrite their vows the day of their elopement because it’s always such an emotional moment captured.
Include stories and shared experiences. Sharing stories or experiences that are meaningful to your relationship is a great way to add a personal touch. This will help make your vows unique and special.
Script for Elopement Vows
Here is a general framework to get you both started on your vow writing. Keep in mind, there is no wrong way to declare your love for one another! Before kicking off this script, consider an “ice-breaker” to see who has to go first, like flipping a coin or playing rock-paper-scissors. This is a fun way to relax and start things on a lighthearted note.
1.) Opening Words
Traditionally, this section is spoken by an officiant or celebrant. But even if you’re planning a just-the-two-of-you elopement, it’s still worth preparing a short introduction to ground the moment.
A few things you might include:
Share what this day and this commitment mean to you both.
If guests are present, this is a wonderful time to thank them for being there.
Take a deep breath and read slowly—don’t rush through it.
Use these first words to set the tone and intention for the rest of your ceremony.
2.) Your Vows
When it comes to elopements, especially if it’s only the two of you, your vows often become the heart of the ceremony. Keep these tips in mind when writing your personal vows:
Don’t worry about being perfect—honesty is more meaningful than polished words.
Feeling shy about sharing them in front of others? Consider reading them privately earlier or later in the day.
Reflect on the impact your partner has had on your life and the ways you want to show up for them in the future.
Include a personal story, special memory, or even an inside joke—it’ll make your vows feel uniquely yours.
Start writing early so you can add inspiration as it comes.
Highlight two or three things you absolutely adore about your partner.
When reading, make eye contact, maybe hold hands—a physical connection can help calm nerves and keep you present in the moment.
3.) Proclamation & Declaration
This is the part of the ceremony where the legal language often comes in—think “Do you take…” followed by “I do.” Some states require specific wording, but if you’re eloping in Colorado, you’re free to skip or adapt this step since the law doesn’t require it.
4.) Ring (or Token) Exchange
While this step is fairly self-explanatory, you can make it extra meaningful by adding a personal touch. If you’re exchanging rings—or any other token of love—consider saying a line or two about what it symbolizes to you. “This ring symbolizes my commitment and love for you.” A small addition like this can elevate the moment in a big way.
5.) The Grand Finale
You did it—it’s official! Time for that first kiss as a married couple. If you have an officiant, they might announce you with the classic “I now pronounce you…” but eloping couples will usually just seal it with a kiss. Consider a dip kiss or other fun way to cap off your ceremony!
Remember, your wedding vows are a beautiful opportunity to express your unique love and commitment to your partner. So take your time, be true to yourself, and have fun with it! Do you need help planning your elopement or intimate wedding? Contact me today!
